call

i’m
still
here
i
swear

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14 thoughts on “call”

  1. So you have no interest in “real” men? Obviously, you didn’t come up with the right definition. That’s understandable; most of the talk out there is from imposters. I think a good definition should discuss character, not body parts – my definition would probably be gender neutral.

    Your next assignment is to define “love”. As I mentioned, I know you’ll do much better than I would. Here’s what I know. First, when a teenage (or older) boy tells you that if you really loved him you would have sex right this moment and anytime thereafter that he gets the whim, I’m pretty sure he’s mistaken. Curiously, “love” as he defined it places no restrictions or demands on his behavior and expires less than twelve hours after you’ve proven yourself. I had heard that the ancient Greeks had several words for love so I did some research so you’d think I knew what I was talking about. Depending on which ancient Greek you talk to there are between four and seven types of love. But are those really different types, or simply different manifestations or characteristics of a single love? Also, I’ve heard it said that “I love you, but I don’t like you . . .” Could that be true, or is the speaker just full of . . . misinformation?

    To be painfully clear, I didn’t set the bar low because of my expectations for your work – quite the contrary. I set the bar as high as I could reach in this area, but have every expectation that you will knock it out of the park (You are right, I really need to stop mixing my sports metaphors).

    The “forbidden feelings” idea hasn’t budged. After I last mentioned it an inside voice asked “who are you really talking about?” which now requires me to do some soul searching. I don’t expect to find anything (and in any case, the results aren’t likely to be published). Case pends.

    Now get to work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate your attempts at trying to get me back into writing, but I think maybe my time has come and passed. I’m not so interested in it anymore, nor do I think I really have anything else to say. But thank you for your encouragement and comments.

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  2. Even though I now suspect it unlikely that you might take up my anonymity offer, I will make it a standing offer – you are always welcome. And the forbidden feelings idea, as intriguing as it still is to me, shows no signs of tropical development over the next few days. Here is your new assignment, “should you decide to accept it”:

    Define “real man”. I’m sure you must have some thoughts on the subject. I’ve had a few. I’ve mentioned it only twice, in “Am I Becoming An Insensitive Bastard?” (http://thesilentknight.info/2015/am-i-becoming-an-insensitive-bastard/) and in “Rules Of Engagement” (http://thesilentknight.info/2015/rules-of-engagement/) just a month later, and I thought I might address it on a regular basis thereafter as ideas came forth, but it has been almost three years now languishing on my list. I guess the problem is that I don’t have a fully developed definition or even a good set of rules. Mostly what I have are a few false rules to refute that were developed not by real men, but by pretenders and wannabees. Interestingly, I just read an article about recognizing trustworthiness that I liked but wasn’t yet sure how to apply (I was also wondering how our current President measured up). But this has nothing to do with anything.

    When you complete your assignment, if you’d like me to contribute, either for the prosecution or the defense, just let me know. Otherwise, right now, I’m feeling it might be my job to remain? Silent. If I’m inspired to comment on my site at a later time, I’ll give proper credit.

    I already have your second assignment (another definition – one I am confident you have a much better grasp of than I do). If you have started on an anonymous project, by all means, finish it before starting this one.

    Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. By the way, concerning comment management, you have two copies of my May 16th comment beginning with “Ma’am, please forgive me….” You could easily delete this remark and one of those two. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m really happy you haven’t “come to your senses”. I have some more thoughts/possibilities I’d like share.

    Now that I think about it, I may have seen in some of your more recent work a bit of … was it self-doubt, a lack of confidence (what is the word I’m looking for?). For what it’s worth, which admittedly isn’t much, I think the period where my self-esteem was at its lowest was from around the sixth through maybe tenth grade? Because of our suspected differences, this really means nothing except perhaps that “I’ve been there”. Anyway, it’s possible that you may not be feeling as courageous as I may have bragged about you earlier (Gee, no pressure there, right). There’s a common saying, “Fake it til you make it”, that I really dislike because I don’t believe in faking anything. What I do believe is that instead of following your feelings, there are times when one’s actions must lead their feelings (is this variation just a matter of semantics?). I like to believe that one’s feelings are there to protect you, but for example, when you find a crevice across your path, and after reviewing all possible alternate paths and measuring the width of the crevice, it is apparent that the forward path is not only doable but the only reasonable alternative, sometimes you have to disregard your feelings momentarily, as difficult as that is. Once safely on the other side, your feelings will regain the lead soon enough. Again, for this to work you must have done your homework first – and still, it’s not easy. Just saying.

    Another thing, possibly related – I found some advice I liked at https://www.facebook.com/NowThisPolitics/videos/2068922389805907/.

    As you well know, in the English language there is always more than one way to say something, which implies that there is no such thing as perfection. Here’s an idea: jot down what’s on your heart as best as you can – Just put something on paper (so to speak). Call this your first draft. If you’d like, you can email it to me. Obviously, I don’t have your talent, but am confident I will be able to keep you from making a fool of yourself in front of all your loyal fans. When you get it back, or in three days if you decide not to take me up on this offer, pick it up again and make any necessary revisions. Then let it go, knowing you’ve done your best. Your fans will appreciate it and are more forgiving than you realize (as if you need forgiving). I guarantee they are in more agony now waiting than they would be if forced to read your worst article. [Speaking of gutless cowards, come on readers, help me out here!]

    I guess I’ve babbled enough. I hope there is something useful here. I don’t mind looking like an idiot when it’s for such a good cause (as if – (never mind)).

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Is this one of those cases I’ve heard about where young girls start out strong on a path to conquer the world and handle manly things like arithmetic, but somewhere in their early teens come to their senses and return to their rightful place at the end of the line in human society? How many princess dolls did you have growing up? Any toy hammers? Did you get up at 5 am to watch Meghan Markle become the Countless of Suffix? [On a brief note, I did wonder if as an activist, her new position in the royal family would help or hurt her effectiveness. Then at one point, I saw them come out of a building – she had changed into a slightly more sensible dress – and the prince opened the rightside door of this nice car for her, and I’m thinking, “Is he actually going to let her drive?” Psych! It wasn’t a British car (with the steering wheel on what we consider the wrong side). But I digress.]

    Please, ma’am, don’t surrender. In “day”, you wondered if “they’ve thought of me as well”. As I mentioned then, you may well be the one they prophesied about. Don’t settle for waiting for Prince Charming; aim to be Miss Informed (OK, so that didn’t work). You could even be the next savior (contrary to popular belief among evangelicals, it’s definitely not Mr. Trump). Take back the place you EARNED at the head of the line. I know it won’t be easy – nothing worthwhile ever is – but I, along with your growing legions of followers will be right behind you, even alongside you if necessary, the whole way. Please, ma’am, don’t settle. Please!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Don’t worry, I haven’t “come to my senses” (I doubt I ever will). I’m simply going through a really bad bout of writer’s block. I see your comments, and I want to reply to them and reach out, but I’m so stuck and blocked that I can’t even find the right words to reply.

      I still have thoughts and perhaps ideas, but I’m struggling to find the words to describe them. It’s been happening for a long while; it’s just at its worst now.

      I greatly appreciate your comments, I get so excited when I see one. And I appreciate your attempts at helping me. I haven’t given up on writing. I still like writing. I’m just having a lot of trouble writing.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. If my offer sounded too good to be true, or those aren’t the services you were looking for, maybe I could at least give you a few tips on blog comment management. Or if you just told us what you really needed, maybe I might know someone who could help. (FWIW, embarrassing my boss isn’t normally part of my job description.)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ma’am, please forgive me for being so dense (I pondered how the title of this poem fit in). How can we best help you? If you would prefer to be discreet, you can reach me at manager@theSilentKnight.info. Otherwise, perhaps my fellow listeners have suggestions.

    I would like to mention how you provide a valuable service. For those in similar circumstances, I think you provide a voice and a fresh perspective. Even if you have no more right to speak than anyone else on the planet, neither do you have any less right and you have the insight and the verbal talent, and dare I say the courage to really be a beacon to others. And those of us from different universes can use what we have in common as an anchor or reference from which to peer into the unknown and to expand our grasp on reality. I, for one, am grateful. I’m sure the others would speak up (maybe even in agreement) if they could.

    So let me know how I may be of service. If you need a straight man or sidekick, I’m there. If you need ideas for topics, we can brainstorm. If you need someone to be devil’s advocate or argue the opposing view or promote controversy, fine. if you need reinforcements or air support, no problem. I would be honored to assist you. Please speak to us.

    [Note to other listeners: No, I’m not her mother (but I might still embarrass her (I hope not)). Please chime in with additional insights. Thank you.]

    P.S. when my comments were blocked in the past, I assumed it was you exercising editorial discretion, but now I suspect it could be your spam blocker run amok. If I’m wrong, let me know.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This “Silence” has no allure. Your thoughts really do matter to us (fellow listeners may want to chime in with an ‘aye’ or a ‘nay’). Please continue. We’ll wait. If you would like help, “Call”!

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      1. Ma’am, please forgive me for being so dense (I pondered how the title of this poem fit in). How can we best help you? If you would prefer to be discreet, you can reach me at manager@theSilentKnight. Otherwise, perhaps my fellow listeners have suggestions.

        I would like to mention how you provide a valuable service. For those in similar circumstances, I think you provide a voice and a fresh perspective. Even if you have no more right to speak than anyone else on the planet, neither do you have any less right and you have the insight and the verbal talent, and dare I say the courage to really be a beacon to others. And those of us from different universes can use what we have in common as an anchor or reference from which to peer into the unknown and to expand our grasp on reality. I, for one, am grateful. I’m sure the others would speak up (maybe even in agreement) if they could.

        So let me know how I may be of service. If you need a straight man or sidekick, I’m there. If you need ideas for topics, we can brainstorm. If you need someone to be devil’s advocate or argue the opposing view or promote controversy, fine. if you need reinforcements or air support, no problem. I would be honored to assist you. Please speak to us.

        [Note to other listeners: No, I’m not her mother (but it is possible that I might still embarrass her (I hope not)). Please chime in if you have additional insight. Thanks!]

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  9. Don’t publish this. I just wanted to tell you I have kept my promise of writing about Teamwork Or Rugged Individualism (in fact, that’s the title). It’s not too long, and probably not all that profound. But a promise is a promise.

    I’m really glad you are still here. I’ll wait.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I woke up early this morning realizing I failed to give proper credit for inspiration to my individualism article. I just changed it (http://thesilentknight.info/2018/teamwork-or-rugged-individualism/). Then I had another idea:

      If you think anonymity might free your creative juices (that’s not exactly why I do it (I want my reader to focus on the merits of an argument, not the perceived characteristics of the messenger)), you may invent a name for yourself and publish on my site. Even if I hate it, I will let it go untouched for at least a month, but most likely it would last forever (or until you said otherwise (I can see I am much better than you at comment management)). Although I still reserve the right to maintain civility in the comment section, I will even relax my standards for the comments sticking to the subject at hand. I would even invent a second contributing author of my own just to confuse those who read this and help maintain your anonymity (or you could just delete this message immediately (and maybe create a throw-away email account so I can be more discreet with my ideas)).

      What I’ve been doing is trying to come up with theories to help me find the best way to serve you. My ego has no stake in any of these theories so you could just tell me when I’m off base. An inkling of my next theory is already forming – it has something to do with forbidden feelings. This is not a specialty of mine so it could get scary, but I’ll be careful. Stay tuned.

      Liked by 1 person

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